We left our honeymoon. Hesitant to leave and address what laid ahead, but anxious to return to our little barely finished home. There was no shower or running sink, the interior was mostly bare drywall. No flooring or pictures. Simply a blank slate. I’ll be honest it wasn’t what I’d imagined being my first home after getting married and yet the inner part of me loved it dearly. We pulled into our drive to see a small group of our family working and placing flowers outside our door. I smiled at the flowers, the inside was a construction zone and the outside was nothing to fancy. The flowers were cheerful and encouraged me to think positive in the midst of all the chaos. Our family left after a short time and my new husband and I laid on our bed. Our bedroom, not just the bedroom but the temporary kitchen, and the only room in the house that was mostly finished. We talked for a while about our vision for each room. What color we’d paint them. Pictures for the walls. Even though we had a lot of work ahead of us, more than we could fathom at the moment. We went to bed knowing that God was good.
There were so many times of trial after that. I’d say for renovating a house right out of the gate of getting married, we’ve been through the worst of it.
I’ve continuously listened to stories similar to my own. Of young couples and friends around me who started out with mere humble beginnings. Some make me chuckle, some make me cry and others make me want to grab the teller of the story and hug them. My husband and I are facing a trial today and initially it took me back to a place of insecurity when we first got married. But a simple text brought light to it all. Steven wrote and said, “Patience. God is good. All the time.” We’ve always said to each other, through hard times, “Imagine a few years from now, when we look back on this moment and we laugh. Because guess what? We’re going to be just fine!” That statement has gotten us through almost six years of marriage and I know we’ll continue to use it for the rest of our lives.
The few years that Jesus wasn’t in my heart during our marriage. My continuous thought was, “If only I had more money!” Now I’ve realized that even if I had all the money I supposedly “needed” it wouldn’t make a difference without Jesus. If the Holy Spirit was missing from my marriage, I’m sure I’d squander the money and end up using it for something unwise. There is this quote I remember frequently from a friend and it always makes me laugh. She said, “I don’t need to be rich. I just want enough money in my account that I can go to the gas station and not wonder if I have enough money to fill up my tank.” Money will not fix our heart. My treasure is in my friendship with Jesus. I’ve fought for it, struggled to get it, laid down my selfishness and pride. He’s seen me through my worst and my best. I pull all my strength from him. On days like today when I know that Satan is taking every opportunity to tear me apart. Jesus speaks to me, “Patience, you got this! I’m right here. All day, I’m right by your side.”
Jesus is enough. I believe that he always provides. It is through our faith in hard times that he blesses us. I’m staking a claim that Jesus will provide and he will bring me comfort.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.- 2 Corinthians 12:10